Longing for Certainty
by turquoisesky2
Summary: A missing moment at Grimmauld Place in Deathly Hallows.  Ron and Hermione wonder about their uncertain relationship and seek comfort from each other during a quiet night.


Hermione lay awake at 12 Grimmauld Place, occasionally tossing and turning in search of a better position in which to fall asleep. But sleep would not come. She had been worrying. Worrying about her parents, Harry, Ron, Hogwarts, the mission to find the Horcruxes, and everything concerning the future. Although during the day she was confident in front of her two best friends, the act merely masked what she really felt: fear and uncertainty.

Hearing footsteps in the hallway, Hermione held her breath and reached for her wand. She then saw a glimpse of red hair and exhaled. Why was he up so late? It had to be at least two in the morning.

"Ron?" Hermione called softly.

Ron's silhouette appeared in the doorway. "Hermione, you should really get some sleep," he suggested, his voice full of care and concern.

"Well, I'm trying...and you should, too." Ron sighed at Hermione's words and began to walk back toward his room, when she called after him. "Wait!"

Ron sped back into the doorway, hopeful. "Yes?"

Hermione didn't want him to leave her. She longed for Ron, his warmth, the feeling of his hand interlocked with hers, the way he could make her feel better by just being there. But she couldn't say this to him. What would he think? "Ron, I just—I'm just worried about everything. I can't sleep. This room is cold and creepy and I, I—" Hermione's speech came to a halt when Ron walked into the room.

He sat down on the bed, and despite the lack of light, he met her eyes. Ron felt defeated at Hermione's anguish. It pained him to see her upset. He took a deep breath and managed a weak smile. "I know, Hermione. Trust me, we all feel the same way."

"Yes, but what if—"

"No, I don't want to hear any of that now," Ron told Hermione. He reached out and gently stroked her face. "Just close your eyes. I'll be right here." He placed himself on the floor beside the bed.

Hermione thought that it was just silly for Ron to rest on the hard floor while she reposed comfortably in a bed. Plus, she craved Ron, and almost needed him near her. Before she could stop herself, Hermione blurted out, "Why don't you—" She cleared her throat, "Er, there's room on the bed if you'd like."

Even through the darkness, Hermione could see Ron's ears turn scarlet.

"Oh. Right, yeah, thanks," Ron stuttered.

Hermione suppressed a laugh as she moved over, giving Ron room to lie down. Clearly awkward and embarrassed, they both lay on their backs with their arms at their sides.

"Hey, Ron?" Hermione turned to face the boy she was desperately in love with, and her stomach became full with butterflies. She wanted to ask him about one of the things on her mind: What would happen between them in the future? Were they ever going to be together? But, she couldn't bring herself to say it like this, so she asked him something slightly different. "What do you think will happen when this mess is over?"

Ron turned on his side as well. He could barely handle their close proximity. Ron wanted to clasp Hermione tightly in his arms, kiss her with all of the feelings for her that were never shown properly… But how could he, when he wasn't sure if the feelings were mutual? Despite his racy, er, _racing_ thoughts, he didn't even shift closer. And what was he supposed to say? Who did she mean?

He answered her, "Well Fred and George will probably expand the shop to Hogsmeade and, figuring how it's going, other countries, too." Ron thought more about his family, and then added, "Bill and Fleur might have a kid, that'd be weird wouldn't it? Me, an uncle?"

Hermione smirked. She secretly liked the idea of Ron caring for a child, but she shook it out of her mind. Ron wasn't answering her question the way she intended him to. She wanted to throw away her uncertainties about their relationship, and have them just be together already. "What about me?"

Ron was confused. What did she mean? Was she hinting at something between them? Although he hoped so, he figured not. "You'll find your parents in Australia. You know, have a nice beach vacation, maybe advertise S.P.E.W. a bit."

Hermione laughed and scooted closer to Ron so that they were inches apart. "D'you think my parents will be alright?"

"Of course, you're their daughter," he answered matter-of-factly.

Hermione felt much better. Ron's presence was soothing, yet she was slightly disappointed that he didn't get to her point. She just wanted to be closer to Ron so she cautiously inched toward him to rest her head and hand on his chest. His arm immediately wrapped around her, stroking her hair. His other hand covered hers.

Hermione fought the urge to kiss Ron, something she'd wanted to do for years. The pattern of Ron's beating heart, his warmth, the way his body fit with hers all made Hermione feel safe and content, but she yearned for his lips on hers. Her mind was clear of anxiety, and she relaxed in his embrace, despite the fluttering feeling in the pit of her stomach that she couldn't shake.

She was pushing Ron to the limit. Her warm breath made him shiver. Her body was pressed against his and he could feel the shape of her upper region. Hermione's hand lightly rubbed a spot on his chest. Ron could barely contain his imagination, let alone his hormones, so he tried to focus on Hermione's question.

If she wanted to know what he felt about _them_ and _their_ future, he had an answer. He wanted to be with her, finally get things going. They would be married. She wouldn't be anyone else's but his. But telling her this was not as easy as thinking it because he was uncertain of her opinion. He longed to know what she thought, and after fighting an inner battle, he finally mustered up some Gryffindor courage and whispered, "Hermione, what do you think will happen with us?"

Hermione didn't respond. Broken, Ron could feel scorching heat rising in his face. But then he realized that Hermione's eyes were closed in sleep. Ron stopped playing with Hermione's hair and gently placed a kiss on her forehead. Even though he knew that slumber was unlikely now, he closed his eyes and pictured what he usually did before falling asleep: a beautifully radiant Hermione, beaming, letting him know that she loved him.


End file.
